OMG, GOT! (Indecipherable mess of emojis). That’s right Sports Fans, the world’s most successful medieval documentary / political thriller / softcore porn, returns to our screens on April 25th, and the internet is getting pretty excited. I know a fair few people myself that are sharpening their knives already, to dissect the first episode, and analyse just how far from the books they have strayed. No matter how many nipples they throw at us. We here at Real Sport have never been ashamed to show our inner geek, and frankly, we’ll take any chance we’re given to talk about one of our passions. So when the writing team were throwing around GOT chatter, I jumped all over it like a 5 year old after drinking a litre of Sunny Delight, and downing a tube of Blue Smarties. So, in a link just tenuous enough to enable an NFL writer to have an excuse to talk about Game of Thrones, we’re going to take a look at some character comparisons. We all know the GOT characters, but who are their NFL counterparts?
Tywin Lannister – Bill Belichick
Ruthlessly efficient, undeniably successful, definitely evil. Belichick is the shadow behind the throne of the NFL. People love to hate him, but you can’t fault his career. Not afraid to take calculated risks to achieve his goals, Belichick is begrudgingly respected by most people in the NFL.
Joffrey Baratheon – Roger Goodell
It’s rare for you to hear anybody say the words “That was a pretty reasonable reaction” to anything that Goodell decides to do. The whole Deflate-gate debacle went on for much longer than was entirely necessary. Goodell controls the NFL with a petulant fist of iron, and the people that work alongside him regularly question the wisdom of his decisions. Never to his face though. He probably has a crossbow.
Varys – Ian Rapaport
Varys has ears and eyes everywhere. Rapaport regularly gets the scoop on pretty much every other journalist in the NFL, with a carefully constructed system of trusted sources, he knows what is going on before most people. That’s how you get ahead of the curve, and that’s how Rapaport gets the best stories before anyone else does.
Sandor “The Hound” Clegane – Ndamukong Suh
He’s big, he’s nasty, and he gets results. Suh has been a Defensive Tackle since 2010, and has developed a reputation for being a pretty dirty player. Undeniably talented, and ruthlessly efficient, he isn’t afraid to put other player’s bodies on the line to get the results he needs. The Miami Dolphins were so happy with his style of play being worth the risk, that they were happy to offer him $60M in guaranteed salary in their latest contract offering.
Jaime Lannister – Jason Pierre Paul
A player equally respected and feared for his abilities on the field. A big name that most people would get excited about the prospect of facing. Horrifically injured during an off field incident, that resulted in him losing the use of one of his hands, he simply learned to work around it, and returned to the fray. JPPs story this last year pretty much mirrored Lannister’s word for word.
Ser Dontos Hollard – Johnny Manziel
Someone that could potentially have been something special, that chose to squander the opportunity given to him. Manziel is the perfect Ser Dontos. Partying and drinking to oblivion, hoping for the opportunity for someone to notice his latent skills, and give him the chance to prove himself.
Ser Loras Tyrell – Tom Brady
Good looking, charismatic, and undeniably skilled. Brady is the perfect Ser Loras. When given the right settings and opponents, Brady shows incredible abilities in the field. He does however struggle when he faces opposition capable of reaching out and touching him. Just like Tyrell, Brady is the sweetheart of some, and the target of many. Still, he keeps on smiling.
Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane – JJ Watt
The peak of physical performance and commitment to the cause. JJ Watt embodies the spirit of the Mountain more than any other player, and it is rare for anybody to be able to even come close to challenging him one on one. Showing feats of strength beyond most men, he is the backbone of the team built around him, and makes a real difference every time he steps onto the field. Whereas all the other nights get drunk, and celebrate, the Mountain never stops training. I could go on forever, the cast of the series is probably as broad as the NFL roster, but you’re probably reading this at work. So we’ll leave it there. I for one can’t wait for the 25th, to get back into the complicated politics of Westeros. What do you think? Did we miss any obvious comparisons? Let us know!